Madame Fulcrum is known worldwide as a leading dental astrological expert with an unprecedented accuracy rate of 99.7%.
Welcome to the dazzling world of Madame Fulcrum. She’ll interpret your dental hygiene stars each month and provide uncannily accurate celestial advice based on your sun sign.
March 21 – April 19
As the sun enters Pisces over the next several weeks, you might start to see stubbornness becoming more prevalent in your life. Stubborn calculus, stubborn varnish stains and possibly you being more stubborn than usual about the temperature in the office. I mean it’s freezing and cosmically there’s never been a better time to do something about it.
April 20 – May 20
If you want to accomplish some of your biggest ambitions, consider community service. Volunteer for a free dental clinic or start a campaign to donate toothbrushes to local schools. Or for a narrower scope, just brush your dog’s teeth because his breath is terrible. It still counts.
May 21 – June 20
Gemini hygienist, you always manage to talk your way out of tricky situations. Your colleagues admire your gift of gab, so much so that you’re often dragged in to break bad news. Somehow, “sir, you’re going to need a root canal” sounds so much better coming from you and no one knows why and we’re starting to get suspicious.
June 21 – July 22
With the moon in your seventh house of marriage and partnerships, the focus is on your partner. Make time in your busy schedule for a few date nights or carve out some one-on-one time with your best friend. Or just hang out with your cat.
July 23 – August 22
With the moon in your sixth house of health, you’ll start to be more aware of how much exercise you are getting. Or maybe just more aware of how much you use your wrist in a day. That’s definitely exercise right?
August 23 – September 22
With the moon in your first house of personality, you're ready for your close up! Consider dusting off the ol’ Youtube account, even if it’s been a while since you last logged in. Try that one email from college. Then try your work email. Could it still be under your old Hotmail account? Reset password. Check your three email accounts. Start a brand new email account. Reset password again. Successfully login! OK what were you doing?
September 23 – October 22
The focus is on peace and quiet as the moon enters through your twelfth house of solitude. Recharging your batteries should become a priority, which isn’t easy for hygienists with hectic schedules. But, if Beyonce can do it … it basically means nothing. So good luck to anyone who isn’t Beyonce.
October 23 – November 21
You’re pretty much the only sign who closes out summer with a legit Crocs™ tan. So no, it’s not common.
November 22 – December 21
Sagittarius hygienist, this is a good time to get your finances in order. Audit your spending habits and maybe start building a business case to ask for that raise. And really, truly reflect on the obscene number of electric toothbrushes you own.
December 22 – January 19
If you’re thinking of taking up a new hobby, consider one that uses skills you could easily adapt from dental hygiene. Cross stitching requires delicate and detailed handiwork. Put your instrumentation IQ to use with ceramics and sculpting. Floss art is all the rage, and who has more access to floss? See you at the Farmer’s Market.
January 20 – February 18
Prepare for some real Insta moments in the weeks ahead, Aquarius hygienist. An impromptu before-and-after snap from one of your patients might even go viral, so keep doing what you do best because it’s working.
February 19 – March 20
This month is all about building bridges and making inroads where none seemed possible. You may gain a deeper understanding of patients who can be less than cooperative, or tensions between you and a coworker start to lift. Unfortunately, there’s still that person who drinks the last cup of coffee and doesn’t start another pot. There’s no building bridges there.