Welcome to the dazzling world of Madame Fulcrum. She’ll interpret your dental hygiene stars each month and provide uncannily accurate celestial advice based on your sun sign.
March 21 – April 19
Romance is in the air for the lucky Aries hygienist. Whether you’re single or attached, getting a CPR certification does not count as a date. Someone had to tell you, and I’m glad it was me.
April 20 – May 20
Two words for you this month, Taurus hygienist: cha-ching! You’re either pulling double duty or you’re on your way to that sweet, sweet raise – either way, your bank account would high-five you if it could. Time to start thinking about ways to spend your time outside the op (like taking a vacation, or an actual lunch break).
May 21 – June 20
Gemini hygienist, your brain is always moving a mile a minute. Channel that mental energy as best you can – volunteer to train the newbie in the office or read up on the latest infection control practices. Or, start going to bed at 7:30 p.m. All that thinking is exhausting.
June 21 – July 22
This is a make-or-break month for you, Cancer hygienist. It’s “make,” as in, you’ll make lots of coffee, and “break” as in, you’ll break the unrelenting cycle of tooth decay. So really it’s just like any other month. Carry on.
July 23 – August 22
Leo hygienist, you really can’t complain. Oh wait, yes you can. You missed the Spice Girls reunion tour and that’s a harsh reality to face. Thankfully it’s allergy season so you can let your patients assume that’s why you’re teary-eyed.
August 23 – September 22
Virgo hygienist, you sure know how to dance like no one is watching. Except that people are watching and it looks like you’re getting attacked by bees. Try to keep your moves to yourself, especially in the presence of small children – going to the dentist is scary enough as it is.
September 23 – October 22
Libra hygienist, I see some hypersalivators and extreme gaggers in your immediate future. June is just not your month. Don’t worry, July is better.
October 23 – November 21
Things might go a bit haywire for you this month, Scorpio hygienist. Something might get lost in the mail, or you’ll get an influx of patients who cancel at the last minute. By the new moon next month, you’ll no longer have the urge to get that stress-response bob cut. Stay positive.
November 22 – December 21
You know what they say, Sagittarius hygienist: make hay when the sun shines. Or, in your case, slay decay when the overhead light shines.
December 22 – January 19
Did you know Capricorns make some of the best hygienists? You love a good puzzle and working with your hands, so work actually seems kinda fun! If your idea of fun is walking around wearing other people’s saliva.
January 20 – February 18
June is a stellar month for you, Aquarius hygienist. This month favors implementing new practices, brushing up on some tough or confusing topics, and drinking coffee in the car without spilling. OK, you might spill, but chances are it will land perfectly on your seat belt and mysteriously avoid your scrubs. Make the most of this spectacular aspect while it lasts.
February 19 – March 20
I hate to tell you this, Pisces hygienist, but June is much of the same-old, same-old. You’ll scale. You’ll polish. You’ll floss. You’ll carry on conversations with yourself while sitting six inches away from someone’s face. You know, the usual.