Welcome to the dazzling world of Madame Fulcrum. She’ll interpret your dental hygiene stars each month and provide uncannily accurate celestial advice based on your sun sign.
March 21 – April 19
If adulthood is needing coffee and a nap before going out on Friday night, then being an RDH is … exactly that except with no bathroom breaks.
April 20 – May 20
Mood: How is it suddenly the end of September? No seriously have I been in a coma, should I be concerned?
May 21 – June 20
No one: Gemini hygienist: I need scrubs for when I barely glance sideways, diagnose perio, then dramatically take my gloves off in slow motion. Also, pockets.
June 21 – July 22
Cancer hygienist, if you're in silent rage-cleaning mode again, that means it's time to do something that inspires you. In other words, you have a fever, and the only prescription is more Forrest Gump.
July 23 – August 22
You may have shed a few tears after missing the Spice Girls reunion tour. But dates for Whitney Houston’s hologram tour have been announced, so at least there’s a three-dimensional light at the end of this long revivalist pop culture tunnel.
August 23 – September 22
As you may have heard, Saturn ends its retrograde this month, Virgo hygienist. What does that mean for you? It could go one of two ways: either you’re so in the zone at work that you basically black out and wake up to find that you just completed a full SRP, or you keep putting bitewings in backwards.
September 23 – October 22
The moon is in the perfect position for you to achieve your goals over the next 30 days. This aspect opens up some can-do energy. You CAN make a difference in your patients’ lives. You CAN have a meaningful and fulfilling career. And you CAN convince people to floss. The universe has your back!
October 23 – November 21
Scorpio hygienist, you’re really good at what you do. So good that you’re usually the go-to guru for all the office newbs, which is great! But wow, they ask a lot of questions. Is there no one else who can help? Maybe if you start over-philosophizing everything, people will slowly stop talking to you altogether. Problem solved.
November 22 – December 21
Are we entirely sure some hygienists aren’t just three cups of coffee stacked in a trench coat? That’s not a horoscope, I’m legitimately asking.
December 22 – January 19
It’s tough to meet new friends, Capricorn hygienist. But one way to filter out those who aren’t worth your time is to ask up front whether or not they’ve seen the movie Titanic. Then you’ll know … you’ll know.
January 20 – February 18
It’s been a tough month, Aquarius hygienist. But it’s time to straighten up, wash the prophy paste out of your hair, re-apply the makeup that rubbed off on your mask, finally take a bathroom break, untangle your chair wheels from all the cords, restock the drawers, run the autoclave one last time and … forget it this is exhausting.
February 19 – March 20
Pisces hygienist, the next few months are all about expanding your horizons. Sign up for some continuing education courses, and try to focus in on the more unique topics offered. It’ll give you more of an edge – not that you need it.