December's Hygiene Horoscope

By Madame Fulcrum on December, 7 2018
December's Hygiene Horoscope
Madame Fulcrum

Madame Fulcrum is known worldwide as a leading dental astrological expert with an unprecedented accuracy rate of 99.7%.

Welcome to the dazzling world of Madame Fulcrum. She’ll interpret your dental hygiene stars each month and provide uncannily accurate celestial advice based on your sun sign.





March 21 – April 19

December is a generous month for the Aries hygienist. Channel your inner Oprah and let that slightly annoying co-worker finally borrow your coveted saddle chair. But just once. You don’t want anyone getting any ideas.





April 20 – May 20

December is a lucrative month for the Taurus hygienist. It’s time to pull the trigger on that idea you dreamed up to market Christmas lights for braces. It will be all the rage on YouTube.






May 21 – June 20

December is a busy month for the Gemini hygienist. You’ll be turning your op over like nobody’s business! Give yourself the gift of a 5-minute break every now and then, and maybe ease up on the coffee.





June 21 – July 22

December is a smooth month for the Cancer hygienist. If it’s anywhere as smooth as your patients’ enamel, this month will be a real treasure.






July 23 – August 22

December is a cozy month for the Leo hygienist. It’s all about peace on Earth and stretchy pants. Santa approves.






August 23 – September 22

December is a festive month for the Virgo hygienist. Even your op is decked out, which is great! But you don’t need to make EVERY patient wear a Santa hat.






September 23 – October 22

December is a joyous month for the Libra hygienist. Everyone really loves when you sing Christmas carols all day long! Said no one ever.





October 23 – November 21

December is a merry month for the Scorpio hygienist. You’ll breeze through calculus, blast away biofilm and straight up be mistaken for a superhero. No use hiding that cape anymore, Scorpio.




November 22 – December 21

December is a jolly month for the Sagittarius hygienist. Through December, everyone will open their mouths wide enough for you to do what you need to do without you having to contort your body like an Olympic gymnast. Your patients are the best!





December 22 – January 19

December is a cheery month for the Capricorn hygienist. Cheery in the sense that no one will bite you. Lots to look forward to in December!





January 20 – February 18

December is an enjoyable month for the Aquarius hygienist. You’ve perfected your ability to swear so quietly under your breath that no one can hear you, but it still manages to make you feel better. Professional with a capital P! Keep it up, Aquarius.







February 19 – March 20

December is a carefree month for the Pisces hygienist. You’ve got a whim and you know how to use it. Maybe you’ll travel across the globe. Maybe you’ll just end up at IHOP.



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