November's Hygiene Horoscope

By Madame Fulcrum on November, 1 2018
November's Hygiene Horoscope
Madame Fulcrum

Madame Fulcrum is known worldwide as a leading dental astrological expert with an unprecedented accuracy rate of 99.7%.

Welcome to the dazzling world of Madame Fulcrum. She’ll interpret your dental hygiene stars each month and provide uncannily accurate celestial advice based on your sun sign.





March 21 – April 19

November might catch the Aries hygienist a little off gourd. I mean guard. I mean … all the leftover pumpkins have to go somewhere, so watch your step.





April 20 – May 20

November delivers the excitement the Taurus hygienist has been craving. Whether it’s a wildly successful entrepreneurial pursuit or just being able to scale away some tenacious calculus without burnishing it, November has some real treasures in store for you.






May 21 – June 20

November is a lovely month for the Gemini hygienist. You are bucking tradition and making your famous candied yams with xylitol this year, and no one will even notice the difference. Their hygienists thank you.





June 21 – July 22

November is a sweet month for the Cancer hygienist. On the outside you’re as calm and collected as ever. On the inside you are basically a pumpkin spice latte. There’s still a solid month of pumpkin season left, so pace yourself, Cancer. You only get so many bathroom breaks at work.






July 23 – August 22

The November stars are generously positioned for the Leo hygienist. Your luck is as abundant as the autumn harvest, which means no unseemly paste splatter or foggy mirrors in your immediate future. Cherish this golden planetary alignment while it lasts.






August 23 – September 22

November is a spectacular month for the Virgo hygienist. You have much to be thankful for. Your dental supply closet looks like it came right off of a Pinterest board (because, duh, it did). Just another reason your co-workers love you but also kind of hate you.






September 23 – October 22

November is a pensive month for the Libra hygienist. Your thoughts become your words, and we all know what that leads to: doing that thing where your lips move while you’re deep in thought. Just wear your mask all day and no one will notice.





October 23 – November 21

November is a demanding month for the Scorpio hygienist. At the end of the day, you gotta do you. If that means a night of watching those Hallmark movies you never deleted from your DVR from last winter, so be it. There’s no shame! (OK there’s a little shame.)




November 22 – December 21

November is a terrific month for the Sagittarius hygienist. Mercury is in retrograde and Pluto is in your seventh house of luxury and relaxation. If you can sneak away to Zen out in a fully reclined dental chair, more power to you.





December 22 – January 19

November is a cheerful month for the Capricorn hygienist. You’re the person who always remembers to bring interdental flossers to Thanksgiving dinner. We all know that’s what everyone is TRULY thankful for (especially since Aunt Margaret usually brings corn).





January 20 – February 18

November is the month of comfort for the Aquarius hygienist. It’s all about scrubs, comfortable shoes and easily managed hairstyles for the next 30 days. Or the next 365 days. Whichever.







February 19 – March 20

November is a pleasant month for the Pisces hygienist. You’ll figure out how to successfully remove varnish stains from your scrubs, granting you utmost respect and admiration from your co-workers.



D-Lish Prophy Paste Sample

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